Letters to Marley
by Mickey Rae
Summary: "I can't believe that you're gone. It's all my fault, I'm so sorry. If I had just been paying better attention to the road then none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have driven off of the bridge, and most importantly, you would still be alive." R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, here's another story. This one is really depressing, but also has some parts - probably in later chapters - that will make you smile. I hope you all like it. Here's chapter one :)**

* * *

_Dear Marley Rose,_

_I can't believe that you're gone. It's all my fault, I'm so sorry. If I had just been paying better attention to the road then none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have driven off of the bridge, and most importantly, you would still be alive. I sat by your hospital bed every day while you were in a coma, just praying that you would wake up. When the doctor finally came in and told me that you were gone, I didn't know what to do with myself.  
_

_I haven't gone to school in a while, the teachers say that I shouldn't go when I'm "in this fragile state". It doesn't matter though, I have to stay home and take care of Maddy. Yes, she managed to survive the accident. The doctor's said that you were far enough along with her that she would be okay. She's so small, but what else should I expect a premature baby to look like. She looks like you Marley, so much so that sometimes it makes me cry because I miss you so much. No matter what you or I thought before Marley, Maddy wasn't a mistake, she's the result of our love and I will cherish her always. Her first word was "mama", can you believe that? I can never leave her alone. I can't risk the chance of losing her too._

_I hope I'm doing well with the whole father thing...your mom is the only reason I might be doing okay. Ever since I got kicked out of my house and moved in with you guys, she has been more of a mother to me than my own mother has.  
_

_Marley, I really miss you and I wish you would come home, but I guess this isn't home to you anymore, huh? This is only the first letter I will write to you, and I know, somehow, that you'll get it.  
_

_I love you so much,  
_

_Ryder Lynn  
_

Ryder folded the letter and put it neatly into the off-white envelope. He closed it up and wrote 'Marley' on the front of it. Then he leaned down and placed against the headstone of her grave.

A sudden cry made Ryder turn his head away and look towards the whining baby in the stroller. He walked over to his little girl and picked her up in his arms, leaning her against his right hip.

"Hey Maddy, this is your mommy." he said in his baby voice, pointing with his free hand towards the grave.

"Mama!" she shouted.

Ryder couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes, mama." He turned around once more and set his daughter back in the stroller. As he was about to walk away, he whispered into the air, "I'll be back soon Marley."


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear Marley Rose,_

_I know it's been a while since I've written to you but I've been so busy with Maddy and school...but honestly, I just haven't known what to write. I'm scared Marls, scared that by doing this I'm letting you go. I don't care what anyone tells me, letting you go isn't what I need to do. I need you Marley, even if you aren't really here. You mean the world to me and I know that I will never love anyone the way I love you.  
_

_Maddy's doing well, by the way. I've had to put her into a daycare center so that I can go to school and your mom can still go to work. I think Maddy likes it there. I have to say that it was hard to let her go like that, but I managed to do it.  
_

_Your mom is also doing well. She has lost fifty pounds! I know that if you were here you would be proud of her. I know I am.  
_

_Anyways Marley, I don't know what to say to you other than I miss you like hell. I miss your beautiful blue-grey eyes that compel me. I miss your gorgeous brown hair that was always as soft as silk. I miss your cute snort-laugh, the one that you hate, but I love. But most of all, I miss you being beside me - holding my hand, kissing me, helping me through the hard times.  
_

_I just miss you.  
_

_I will always love you,  
_

_Ryder Lynn_

Ryder sealed the envelope and placed it against the headstone of Marley's grave. He ran a hand through his short brown hair and clasped his hands together in front of him. He mumbled a few words, only ones Marley could hear.

"Daddy?" The little girl who sat in her stroller behind him looked at him curiously, head cocked slightly to the side. She reached for her belt buckle and undid herself without any problems. She stood up and wobbled over to where he was, kneeling. "Daddy?" she asked again.

When she got no response, she placed a hand on his shoulder. It seemed to break him out of his trance, because his gaze snapped towards hers a second later. "Wha are you doin' daddy?" she asked him.

Ryder turned so he faced his daughter and took one of her hands. "You see Maddy, this is your mom."

"Mom?" her little eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes, everyone has a mommy and a daddy, and your mommy is right here." he replied.

Maddy looked around in confusion. "I don' see anybody daddy."

Ryder sighed. "Maybe I'll explain it to you when you're a bit older." then he smiled. "Let's go home."


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear Marley Rose,_

_It's now been four years since I last talked to you, but it feels like it was just yesterday that we were driving down the highway home from school. I had been stupid. I let my teenage hormones get the best of me. I couldn't stop looking at you. I'm sorry. I know you're probably tired of hearing that but I feel I need to keep saying it. I pains me to know that I was the cause of your death. I should be me dead and you here with Maddy. Don't take that the wrong way Marls, I'm not about to go kill myself of do anything like that. I need to be here for Maddy, I know you'd want me to be._

_Speaking of Maddy, she's starting to understand the concept of "mom" and I know that as soon as she starts making friends at daycare, that she'll be asking me about it. When that day comes, I know exactly what I'm going to say to her.  
_

_I'm going to tell her that her mother has gone to a different place, a nice place. I'll tell her how beautiful you are and how much she looks like you. I'll tell her how amazing you are and how you love her with everything in you.  
_

_Yes, I still remember you saying that to me all those years ago. I remember them because they were your last words before we went off the bridge.  
_

_I really wish you were here Marley.  
_

_I love you with all my heart,  
_

_Ryder Lynn  
_

Ryder laid the letter against the headstone of Marley's grave.

"Daddy?" Ryder listened to the little footsteps as they came closer behind him. He turned and saw Maddy, her eyes bright with curiosity, her brown curls bouncing as she cocked her head to the side.

"Yes sweetie." Ryder replied.

"Is Mommy ever going to come back?" she asked him.

Ryder's heart tightened inside his chest. "Come here for a second." Ryder lifted the little girl to rest on his knee and looked her in the eyes. "She may be gone, but she'll always be in our hearts. Right here." he touched Maddy's heart lightly.

"I wish Mommy was here." Maddy buried her head in his shoulder and weaped quietly. "All my friends at daycare tell me how great their Mommies are, but I don't have one."

"She loves you so much Maddy. I hope you know that. She's always watching over you and smiling as she watches you grow up." Ryder felt tears in his eyes as he spoke.

Maddy pulled back and looked up at her Dad, quickly noticing the tears in her eyes. "Daddy, why are you crying?" she asked. She lifted her small hands up and wiped away the tears with her fingers.

Ryder smiled down at her. "Because you're crying pumpkin."

"But I don't like it when you cry Daddy." she replied, throwing her arms around his neck.

_Flashback_

_Ryder looked down at Marley, tears in her eyes, her face in a grave expression. "Marley, what's wrong?" he asked her lightly, placing a hand on her shoulder._

_Marley's eyes met the ground, and Ryder could see her lip quivering slightly. "I-I'm pregnant." she replied._

_Ryder was shocked, to say the least, and he couldn't seem to get himself to move. "Is it mine?" he managed out after a few minutes._

_Marley nodded. "The condom must have broken." she hesitated, looking like she wanted to throw her arms around his neck and hold him close. She didn't though. Marley stood there, arms wrapped around her waist, as if she were protecting the little baby growing inside her._

_"Marley, look at me." Ryder said firmly. Hesitantly, she lifted her head and met his eyes. "I'm here for you, and for this baby."_

_Marley's tear-filled eyes widened. "Forever?" she asked._

_"Forever." he replied._

_Then, Marley tossed her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her._

_End of Flashback_

Ryder came back to reality and pulled back from his daughter's hug. "I love you Maddy."

She smiled through her tears. "I love you too Daddy."


	4. Chapter 4

_Dear Marley,_

_It's been ten years since I last sent you a letter. I know it's been a long time. That doesn't mean that I haven't missed you like crazy._

_It's been different around the house lately. Maddy just had her fifteenth birthday and ever since then...she's changed. She's drifting away from me. Remember when I said I was scared to have a child? Well I never told you why. I was so afraid that I would love them so much, but then they wouldn't need me anymore. That's exactly what's happening right now with Maddy._

_I wish you were here. But you already know that. I still think about you every day, but I'm not as sad as I used to be. Now, I think about all the happy times we had together - like when we went with the glee club to the fair and there was that haunted house. I remember that you were terrified to go in, but I threw you over my shoulder and dragged you in with me. My back hurt for a month after that from your hard hitting!_

_Then, remember the last day we had together? It was the first time since you found out you were pregnant that you smiled so fully, so happily. We sang 'Between the Raindrops' in glee that day. Every time I hear that song I think of your beautiful voice._

_Alright, now here comes the hard part._

_I've realized that it's been fifteen years since you've been gone and my love for you has not decreased one bit. I know it never will. But I think it's time for me to say goodbye. This will be the last letter I leave for you. I don't know why, but I feel that I need to stop. I need to spend more time with Maddy. She's getting older and soon she'll be leaving the house to go to college. I want her to know more about me, more about you, before she leaves._

_I love you forever and always Marley,_

_Ryder Lynn_

Ryder placed the letter against her headstone and smiled. He lifted his hand to his mouth and kissed his fingertips before placing them against Marley's engraved name.

"Dad?" Ryder turned to see Maddy, in a striped dress, holding flowers to her chest. Her hair fell in waves down her back and in that moment, she looked so much like Marley.

"You look so much like your mother, Mads." he breathed.

She smiled and came to kneel before her mother's grave with her father beside her. "Dad...what was my mom like?" she asked.

"She was...smart, kind, and the most beautiful girl I'd ever met in my life." Ryder turned to his daughter. "And guess what?" Maddy rose her eyebrows. "She hated daisies, just like you."

Maddy laughed. "Well then it's a good thing that I brought her lilies then." she bit her lip before continuing. "Dad, I know that I sometimes act like I don't want to be around you, but honestly, I love you, and I'm scared of leaving without you."

Ryder pulled his daughter to his chest and kissed the top of her head. "Oh you'll be fine. You still have two good years before college, and I'm sure that by then you won't want anything to do with me."

His daughter only held him tighter. "Dad, will you take me for ice cream? Just like we used to do when I was little. And...could you tell me more about my mom?"

Ryder stood up, his daughter following. He smiled. "I think that's a great idea."

* * *

**And FINISHED!**

**I know, it took me a while to write this last chapter, but I hope you liked it! :D**

**If you have any ideas for stories of Marley/Ryder or Marley/Jake or Marley/Sam that you would like me to write, just leave it in a review or PM me! :D**

**Love you guys,**

**Mickey :P**


End file.
